The Friday Challenge: Monologue

“My, my, my. Mr. Awesome, nothing to say? What is matter, cat got your tongue? Or should say, genetically cloned and biologically engineered saber toothed tiger? Oh yes, it is most impressing. Amazing what modern science capable to do. Perhaps now you know how the Neanderthal feel on the plains of France ten thousand years ago. It was no easy thing fighting off these beasts. Mammoth holding your legs would have been more than match for five, nyet, eight hunters.

But now, enemies have come to be pets. All, except you Mr. Awesome. You with clean shaven jaw, with subtle womanly brow, with narrow nose. You stand opposite to the Neanderthal still. What could you hope accomplish by opposing the Neanderthal. Why your press never say name? Neanderthal is called Othogarmoghr. All have to do is ask.

Do not you know that man who exiled from tribe in the Stone Age, who travel thousand miles, who fall in glacier, who frozen alive for ten thousand years, who thawed by Russian scientists, who rise to power by cunning, guile, and undeniable charm, that man never to be defeated!

Do not twist so much, saber toothed tiger is only barely under thought control. Amazing how ‘advanced’ humans cannot hear and change thoughts like the Neanderthal. Neanderthal thought new humans were supposed to be soooo much better than him. Why Neanderthal can do this and you cannot? Maybe that why old tribe not like Othogarmoghr… Not important now. Pets move you so see presentation screen better.

How Neanderthal live with no Powerpoint, do not know. Cave paintings so limited. Could not go back slide or animate text! See how bomb move and text flash? Make clear that Neanderthal will blast world with EMPs. Knock all humans back to Stone Age. Watch next slide! See how sun fade out? That giant solar shade. Al Gore said needed for global warming. Neanderthal use to make new ice age! Earth be just like home again.

Home good to share. Neanderthal share new home with woman of Mr. Awesome. Yes, Neanderthal not even need control thoughts of Bubbles de Blondie. She like big brow of Neanderthal and Neanderthal hair. She know better man when she see him.

Mr. Awesome, you less than Neanderthal every way. In time long ago, tribe would have dragged out of cave, shamed you with baby mammoth trunk, then eat you. But, because new age for human mankind dawn soon, the Neanderthal will allow you fighting chance. Of course, Neanderthal choose weapons for fight. Neanderthal pick big, heavy branch. You can have pointy stone, smashy rock, ground sloth jawbone, or thin slappy stick. Neanderthal think you do good with thin slappy stick, it what all women of tribe used.”